


Sparkage

by SecondFromTheRight



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:28:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23382328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SecondFromTheRight/pseuds/SecondFromTheRight
Summary: Iris' look of concentration didn’t let up. “And when you were in a coma,” she filled in, seemingly completely aware of his words even in her state. “We sparked.”The poking continued, quickening with frustration until she was jabbing at him. Finally he stopped her with his other hand, enclosing it both of his. “I’m uh, I’m not sure it works…that way.” He tried to break gently.Her face fell. “Not anymore,” she whined, suddenly emotional. “You spark for someone else now.”“Iris.” Barry uttered, unprepared for the apparent tidal wave that was coming at him.Set 2x12. Barry goes to see Iris at the hospital. In a medicated condition, she reveals...a lot.
Relationships: Barry Allen & Iris West, Barry Allen/Iris West
Comments: 27
Kudos: 114





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So this is ridiculous and unrealistic and tropey as fuck but frankly, sometimes I love that shit and I need it right now. Maybe you do too?

“Hey, Iris,” Barry whispered as he took a seat next to Iris’ hospital bed. She was sleeping and Barry’s focus automatically drifted to her bandaged shoulder. “I’m so sorry.” He said, feeling tears burn his eyes.

Her body turned a little, her brows furrowing in discontent as she woke up. “Hmm.” She gave a small moan.

“Iris?” Barry leaned closer to her. “Hey.” He smiled when she opened her eyes.

Blinking, it took a moment before the daze seemed to clear. “Barry.” She uttered, drawing a brighter smile from him; he took her hand in his.

Almost immediately, she took her hand back, then put it back on his and lowered it up and down again over his. And again. “What…” he started, frowning down in confusion as he held his out still for whatever she was doing. “What are you doing?”

“Trying to lightning.” She said with a determined crease between her eyebrows.

“Trying to…” he repeated. “What?” he asked, having no idea what she meant or what exactly was happening. She was still playing with his hand.

His confusion didn’t deter her actions. “Jolt of electricity. We used to…jolt. Jolt,” she said as poked at his thumb over and over as if pressing a button that wouldn’t work. “Jo-l-t, Joooolt, jolt.” She continued, over pronouncing the word.

Looking over to the IV attached to her other hand, Barry wondered exactly how much medication she was on. “Right, you said…the night…the night you…found out I was the Flash.” He stammered.

Her look of concentration didn’t let up. “And when you were in a coma,” she filled in, seemingly completely aware of his words even in her state. “We sparked.”

The poking continued, quickening with frustration until she was jabbing at him. Finally he stopped her with his other hand, enclosing it both of his. “I’m uh, I’m not sure it works…that way.” He tried to break gently.

Her face fell. “Not anymore,” she whined, suddenly emotional. “You spark for someone else now.”

“Iris.” He uttered, unprepared for the apparent tidal wave that was coming at him.

“I’m sorry about Patty,” she sniffed as she met his eyes. “She was great. She was really, really…” she inhaled deeply before releasing it. “Fucking great. Perfect for you. Same…humour and interests… Careers!” she exclaimed, her eyes widening as she stared at him. “She was…practically a fan of yours. Like me!” Pausing, she blinked and when she spoke, her voice had turned sad and thoughtful. “Like…me. Flash fangirl.” She sniffed again.

Shaking his head, Barry tried to figure out what was happening. “Iris –“

“I guess I’m not worth being on time for anymore,” she cut in, and shutting him up. “Last time you visited me here? As The Flash? You flirted with me as The Flash, but not as Barry Allen,” she continued and Barry didn’t know what to say. “Why didn’t you flirt with me as Barry? Given me a chance to…” her eyes drifted down towards his clothes as her expression changed yet again, back to thoughtful, but all display of sadness gone. “Can you fuck in the suit?”

“Okay!” he squeaked. “Uh.”

Iris wasn’t listening to him, attention still on his normal-not-suit-clothing but she seemed to be seeing his suit regardless. She shuffled towards him and Barry watched, concerned that she could hurt herself but she put her hand on his shoulder, then down to his hip until she was lifting his shirt to get to underneath. “It’s a two piece, right? So you could just – ”

“Iris!” he quickly stood up, stopping her reaching for him. Leaning over, he cupped her face with both hands to properly divert her attention. “Hi.” He exhaled.

Her face softened in a way that had his heart melting. “Hey.” She whispered, eyes shining up at him.

“Hi.” He repeated as he smiled back at her, unable to stop himself from brushing his thumb over her the soft skin of her cheek.

Suddenly her eyes welled in tears again. “I’m in the hospital.” She whispered sadly.

“I know.” he soothed.

Her lips turned into a heavy pout. “I hate the hospital.” She sniffled, looking scared.

Barry rubbed her cheek again before taking the risk and smoothing her hair behind her ear. “I…I know,” he acknowledged as he choked back his emotion before meeting her eyes again, making sure she could see him. “But you’re okay. You’re going to be okay.” He reassured her.

“Have you come to rescue me?” she asked with bright eyes. “My hero,” she said in something close to a swoon – something he’d never heard from Iris before. Then her hand lightly thudded against his chest before her fingers were on his jaw, exploring up a little to his lower left cheek. Her hold was unsteady. “Barry Allen.” She breathed and Barry heard relief, relief that he was there. He saw how much she believed in him.

Swallowing, he used his right hand to cover hers against his face, telling himself it was to secure her clumsy grasp, but knowing it was because he just wanted to feel her. “I’m so sorry I didn’t save you tonight.” He apologised, her spoken faith in him reminding him of his failings.

“Yes you did.” She retorted with dip of her eyebrows.

Barry had to look away from her eyes because she was looking at him like it was impossible he could ever let her down, but he had. He’d trusted the new Wells, and Iris had been hurt because of it. He hadn’t been fast enough. “I promised I would never let anything happen to you,” He said, his voice cracking as he pressed tighter against her hand, turning his face inwards to her wrist. A sob made him raise his head. “Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked upon seeing tears running down her face, his own upset forgotten in favour for hers.

“I miss you,” her lip trembled. “You don’t talk to me anymore.”

Taking a breath, Barry refocused himself. “I’m going to be around more from now on, okay?” he promised.

“But you don’t want to be.” She cried .

“What?” he paused, shaking his head. “That’s…”

“You were happy without me.” She whispered brokenly.

His focus turned to the IV again, reminding himself that this wasn’t exactly real. Having spent most of his life around her, he’d seen Iris in all sorts of emotional situations, including moody, irrationally angry and even bordering on momentarily hysterical, but he’d never seen this. She seemed so vulnerable, as though her heart and thoughts were completely on display and it was hard for him to convince himself to not take any of it to heart – to that place inside of him that just screamed _Iris_ over and over. “We can talk about this when you’re not on so many pain meds.” He tried to reason.

Another sob broke. “See!” she cried as she took her hand back and completely withdrew from him. “I’m right!”

Giving her some space, he sat back down again. “Iris – ”

“You got over me,” she interrupted. “Moved on,” another sniff. “To _Patty_ ,” she spat, a scowl forming on her face in a decidedly un-Iris like way. “Who’s perfect. Perfect Patty for perfect Barry,” she continued and Barry felt guilt for the warmth that ignited within at the idea of her being jealous of Patty. God, he was a terrible friend. “I’m not even The Flash’s favourite anymore!” she wailed.

Barry was starting to feel that her large range of emotions were a reflection of his own, he was that spun. The hopeful, guilty wishing that what she was saying meant more than her currently vulnerable environment. The pride, that he was the one she was letting in. The rush of love at how ridiculously cute and endearing her over the top display of uncertainty was. She was always so well put together, especially out of the two of them. To see her show so much emotion in a way that was more like him – it was hard not react to. Frankly, he wanted to open his mouth and spill that he never got over her – how could he? That she was the most incredibly person and had taken up so much of his mind and heart for as long as he could remember. That Patty had been an escape because acknowledging that he would never be truly happy without Iris was too much – and he’d made a mess of it, because yes, Patty had been great, but every association Barry had with ‘ _perfect_ ’ was with one Iris West. Trying to block out her talk about his suit and not tell her that any thought, feeling or fantasy she had ever had regarding his suit he would happily provide.

But she was in hospital, hurt and on meds, and probably not going to remember any of it anyway. So he couldn’t say any of that. He’d been hopeful before, last year when it seemed like maybe everything he’d ever wanted was going to come true – but it had only been a single day, just minutes really, and the aftermath when it didn’t work out had completely crushed him. And still, he was so pathetically in love with this woman that even the ruin it had left him in was worth every second of Iris telling him she hadn’t stopped thinking about him. Kissing her, after so long of dreaming of it, had been worth the following months of disappointment that he’d never have it again.

He gave a gentle smile, his feelings for her as tempered as he could manage. “Iris West, you will always be my favourite.” He settled on.

It seemed to work, as her face softened again, looking calmer as she blinked at up him. “Iris West-Allen,” she breathed, returning his smile with a small one of her own. “It’s a nice name.”

“It’s a great name,” he nodded, emotional tears filling his own eyes, despite his best efforts. Iris was always able to cut right through him, even when she wasn’t fully present. “Best name I’ve ever heard.” he let himself say.

Her pout was back, and then she seemed to realise and ran her tongue over her bottom lip before sucking it back into her mouth, dragging her teeth over a lip that Barry could not take his eyes off. His breathing was picking up as he stared at her, wishing he could act on how he wanted to, wishing he’d been able to come in here and indulge and reassure her every insecurity by taking her in his arms and –

“Barry?” she asked lightly, pulling him from his thinking.

Clearing his throat, he tried to take a settling breath but he was affected by his thoughts and found himself fidgeting in his chair at the discomfort of the tightening of his jeans. He put his hands on his lap as he leaned closer, trying to find a balance between calming himself the hell down and being there for her. “Yeah?” he asked more breathlessly than he should be – god, he was a mess.

“When did you stop loving me? When did I lose my chance?” she asked, turning him inside out all over again. He sat stunned. “Why didn’t you wait for me?”

Feeling like he could move again, he shook his head. “Iris,” he breathed, a frown forming on his face as he stared into her eyes. “Was I supposed to?” he risked questioning. “Did you want me to wait for you?”

“I wasn’t ready, and then when I was, you weren’t there anymore. You were someone else’s,” she said with tears in her eyes as she stared up at him. “You’re so good, Barry,” she whispered. “And I never got to be good with you. _Feel_ how good you were.” She added, her tone suddenly breathy in a way that had him hardening further. Her focus travelled down to his body before her hand followed, running down his chest and _holy shit_.

Jumping to his feet, Barry grabbed her hand away from his chest before he completely humiliated himself. “Iris!” His voice came out panicked, his heart racing as the lightening in his body tingled through every nerve end.

Her expression changed to hurt, back to an insecurity and rejection he wasn’t used to from her. “Sorry, I guess you don’t want me touching you.” She said sadly, and breaking his heart.

“That is not –” he stopped himself, trying to find some ground before spilling his every thought and feeling for her in a reassurance that forgot that what she was saying wasn’t really her. “That is not it.”

“Do you?” she asked, staring into his eyes with an openness that was hard for Barry not to respond to. If only it were real, he thought. She probably wouldn’t remember anyway, so maybe he could just tell her exactly how much he wanted her. Or if she did remember, he could joke and say he had just been indulging her manic emotions. “Can you vibrate everything?”

“Jesus.” He muttered under his breath as he dropped his head – he couldn’t look at her anymore.

“I’ve been thinking about it,” she said, and now that he wasn’t looking at her anymore, his every attention was on her voice and fuck, she sounded wanting. Wanting him? Had she really been thinking about it? For how long? And now it was all he was thinking about too. “I think it could be really, really fun,” she added, that breathiness back. His eyed closed automatically and a different situation took stage in his mind. One where he could actually act on what she said. “Best of both worlds. The most perfect sex toy, and the most perfect best friend all rolled into one perfectly perfect Barry Allen,” she continued and Barry heard the warmth flood her voice as she said his name; he couldn’t look away anymore, too hopeful it could last more than the moment. Maybe she had been thinking about him? It had happened before, maybe it could happen again? Please, he thought. “What’s better than that?” she said half under her breath as though voicing her thoughts.

When he looked to her, he found her eyes closed and for a second Barry thought maybe she had fallen asleep. Relief and disappoint mixed within in. But then her right hand started moving over her torso, and down, sensually touching herself over the hospital gown. Stunned, he watched for longer than he should have, in disbelief at he was seeing. Iris ran her full hand over her stomach and then her other hand curled along her ribs and up towards her breast as the first continued down. “Iris!” he cried, leaping to his feet again as he pinned both hands with his own. Her eyes blinked open at him, pupils blown and _expecting_ and this was…this was the cruellest dream he’d have ever had. It had to be. His hands were bigger than hers so he could feel her under his fingers, places he shouldn’t be near. Dry-mouthed, he licked his lips; her eyes caught the movement. She was going to kill him; he wasn’t going to survive this. Swallowing, he made himself remove his hands and sit back down. “Iris, I think maybe you should get some sleep, yeah? Get some rest.” He nodded, over and over bobbing his head distractedly.

Her bottom lip trembled, her expression morphing again. “Are you leaving me?”

He shook his head, resisting the want to touch her face, to kiss away her pout, to let his hands replace where hers had been headed. He shouldn’t be here. Terrible friend, worst friend in the world. Rubbing the back of his neck, he thought about what he should do. It was Iris. Beautiful, perfect Iris he’d been in love with for longer that he could remember. And she was hurt, because of him. She was vulnerable and the total chaos happening inside his body at this moment was all him; his feelings. She came first. God, he’d make her come first if she let him. Closing his eyes, he shook his head, trying to stop his thoughts before turning to look at her again. “No, no I’m going to hold your hand and sit right here, okay?” In reminder to himself, he gripped her hand in his. That’s all he should be holding, touching, vibrating? _Stop_ , he scolded himself. Did she use sex toys? And think of him? Oh god. Using his free hand, he dragged the chair that bit closer into her bed, more out of demonstration than anything. “See? I’m right here.”

“Okay.” She accepted.

“Okay.” Barry nodded, making himself breathe through his nose to calm down.

Licking her lips, she closed her eyes and let her head rest back. “This bed isn’t comfy.” She decided with a scrunched nose after a moment as she tried to slide down the bed and just like that, she was back to adorable.

Barry wasn’t sure how he was still breathing. Resting both hands on hers, he leaned over until his head was pressed against the mattress – the not comfy mattress, he reminded himself, a head full of Iris – above their linked hands.

God, Iris had the power to completely undo him as much as ever. And Barry wasn’t sure he could even make himself regret it. She was _everything_. Even if it was to his total undoing, she was worth it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments on this one. It was fun to write and fun to see everyone like it and have it be a good, small escape.
> 
> This chapter isn't as tropey, but it is sappy - but hey, it's Barry.

“I thought you might want some help.” He greeted as she opened the door to him the following afternoon.

Iris had slept most of the night, only waking up once, looking sleepy and cute as hell and apparently not remembering their interaction. While he’d been a bag of nerves, bouncing his leg and holding his breath at her every move, she’d shown no discomfort with him when waking up. It was like none of it had happened. She’d just smiled at seeing him, asking him how long he’d been there for. He’d expected it, but it still killed him a little. That constant hope he’d carried most of his life that he could be with the woman he loved – the same hope he’d had to bury deeper than ever recently, was right back to the forefront and he didn’t know how to go back again – or pretend to move on as much as was possible, again.

Barry had barely been able to look at Joe and Wally when they’d come to pick her up, sure that one look at him would give away the fact that he could not stop thinking about Iris’ hands running down her own body, her suggestion of fucking in his suit, vibrating her to orgasm – fuck.

Luckily, Joe seemed to caught up in his own flurry of emotions in concern for Iris and anger at Harry Wells to notice him. And Wally – well, he was pretty sure Wally already thought he was just weird anyway.

And despite that embarrassment, despite her not remembering, he didn’t know to let it go. Replaying the whole interaction, then berating himself for being so selfish – and frankly, horny – making Iris’ pain all about himself, became a cycle he’d been going through in between dealing with this new Wells problem.

He probably shouldn’t even be here. But it was Iris, so he was here.

From her expression, she wasn’t as excited to see him.

Keeping her arm on the door, blocking his entrance, she raised her eyebrows. “I’m not staying at the house for a reason,” she pointed out. “I’m fine. I don’t need fussing over.” Her tone was warm, even as she warned him away.

What if he wanted to fuss over her? He decided he shouldn’t say that.

“Well, how about some company then?” he suggested hopefully. “I’m here now?” he smiled, giving a small shrug. Barry hoped that the fact that he could be not-here-now within a blink an eye wouldn’t weigh much on her decision.

With a sigh, she dropped her hand to let him in. “Fine.” She gave in, rolling her eyes as a smile played on her lips.

He loved that smile. It was the best smile in the world. Best smile in the multiverse, had to be.

“So, this new Wells, huh?” she said as they went into her place. “Dad told me.” She explained when he looked at her.

“Yeah,” Barry heavily sighed before shaking his head. “It’s just a mess.” One he didn’t want to think about right now.

She gave a small, understanding smile. “But you’re going to help him, right? Because you’re good like that.”

_“You’re so good, Barry,”_  
_“And I never got to be good with you. Feel how good you were.”_

Barry stared at her, and she didn’t look away. Finally, he gave a slight clear of his throat. “You think I’m good?”

Frowning, she shook her head, clearly confused at his question. So she definitely didn’t remember then? “Of course you are, Barry.” She said softly and while it wasn’t on display like the night before, he could see that same belief in him.

What if he just kissed her? Would it ruin everything? It had taken so long for them to fix things between them before – he didn’t know if he could go through that again. He needed her too much. But if she wanted him to, he could get everything he’d ever wanted.

One of the worst things was he was still taunted by Thawne’s words. Not the words that had helped push him away from Iris in the first place, deeming he would never really be happy, but from Thawne when Barry had trusted him, when he was his mentor, Wells. Telling him that Iris’ feelings hadn’t moved from her unconscious mind in the second time he lived that day. What if that was what had happened last night too?

“Barry?” she called, concerned, when he didn’t say anything.

His eyes caught the way she was playing with her necklace, her hand resting across her body on the side of her injured shoulder as she twisted the chain. It wasn’t a common gesture for her. Remembering the ring he’d given her, that he’d put on her, though not on her finger like he’d wanted to – but he had given her a ring. One she’d worn immediately, and for days. When was the last time she’d worn it? Concentrating on the necklace she had on now, he watched the way her fingers ran along the metal, curling it. Then his focus drifted down and he thought about the fact that she’d had on a thin hospital gown last one. One that she ran those fingers over –

“Barry!” she said louder, suddenly standing in front of him with a hand on his shoulder.

“Iris.” He lightly gasped, snapping out of his thoughts.

“Are you okay?” she checked.

No. So not okay.

He opened his mouth, then closed it again. With a frustrated groan, he strode through to Iris’ small kitchen, grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and then started gulping it down. Iris’ footsteps sounded behind him.

“Barry, why are you really here?” she asked, her knowing tone confusing him all over again.

With a look over his shoulder towards her, he leaned on the counter in front of him, trying to work up the courage to decide what he was supposed to do. Closing his eyes, he gave a forced exhale through his nose before turning to face her.

Her head was down, and she looked sad. Similar to the previous night, Barry’s own distress went out the window in sake of hers. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Raising her head, she quirked an eyebrow at him like he’d asked a stupid question. “Look,” she started, tucking some hair behind her ear. “I was kind of hoping we wouldn’t have to have this conversation but clearly that’s not going to happen.”

Barry blinked at her. “What?”

With a sigh, Iris put a hand on her hip as she raised her head and looked at him. “I’m sorry, okay?” she said softly.

“Sorry?” he questioned with furrowed brows.

“For…” Pausing, she closed her eyes, her jaw tightening as her expression changed into a cringe. “For basically throwing myself at you at the hospital.”

“Oh, that’s…” shaking his head, he trailed off as he processed her words. Was that how she saw it as? Throwing herself at him? So she knew she had been…handsy (with herself as much as him)? So she did remember? Everything? Some of it? Oh god.

“I understand if I made you…uncomfortable.” She continued, apparently oblivious to his freaking out.

He stood struck. “Uncomfortable?” he echoed back.

Swallowing, she blinked up at him with wide, determined eyes. “But I’d rather just forget it happened and move on, if that’s okay?”

“I…” he tried, but nothing else came out.

Her hand came off her hip, her frustration clearly growing. “It’s pretty embarrassing,” she said quietly, her eyes fleeting away and back again. “ _Barry!_ ” She called loudly when he didn’t react.

“I’m sorry!” he got out before opening and closing his mouth. “I’m just… I mean, why…” he continued to struggle, taking a step closer to her as his verbal communication failed him. “Why is it…embarrassing?” he asked as steadily as he could. He felt breathless – that seemed to keep happening with Iris; it had always happened with Iris. Even when become winded becoming a lot, lot harder. Somehow none of his abilities were resistant to the effect Iris West had on him.

She stared at him with a look of betrayal that quickly became irritation. “Are you _trying_ to get me to humiliate myself further?” she frowned.

“No! No, no, I…” he shook his head enthusiastically. Fuck, he was useless. And she was already annoyed at him. What if he made it worse? “What you…what you said. Is that… Do you…” Gesturing, he trailed off, hoping she’d finish for him.

She didn’t.

“I shouldn’t have said any of that. I was _heavily_ medicated.” She said as she put her hands in her back pockets.

“Right.” He nodded, keeping eye contact.

“Didn’t know what I was saying.” She added, blinking up at him.

Barry was only somewhat aware of the tiny steps he was making towards her, drawn to her, even as she dismissed last night – but she remembered. That had to mean something, right? “Yeah, of course.” He said, hoping she’d continue.

“Okay, good.” She nodded, her eyes wider than they should be as she looked into his for longer than was normal, he was sure. But then she swallowed, and broke their eye contact, turning her head down as she turned around and went back to the living room.

“Except!” He cried panicked as he rushed after her, only coming to a stop when she did. “Iris,” he tried, waiting for her to face him again. Barry watched her take a deep breath. Her hair fell forward over her face and she didn’t move it. “Our…” he stumbled, gesturing between them instead. “How things are between us is so important to me. I don’t want to cause any problems between us.”

“Exactly.” She breathed in relief. Was that relief?

“Yeah,” he said sadly as he tried to read her. “And, I know I’ve…done that previously, with…with telling you how I…feel.” He tested.

Shaking her head, she finally brushed the hair away from her face. “No, I mean, we’re fine, Barry.” She reassured.

“Yeah,” he repeated with a sigh as he stared at her. Groaning, Barry lowered his head, scrunching both hands in his hair as he squeezed his eyes closed. “Iris, did you mean…” dropping his hands, he sought her eyes again. “ _Anything_ you said?”

“Barry.” She whispered, caution clear in her tone. Caution for what? So he didn’t make a fool of himself and ruin them again? Caution so he wouldn’t get his heart broken, again? Caution that if they stepped over this line they’d never retreat back? He didn’t want to retreat back to never mentioning how he felt, to pretending that he wasn’t completely in love with her. If they stepped over it together, he wanted them to keep going – together.

Trying to be brave but feeling more desperate than anything, he maintained their eye contact. “Please, I need to know,” he pleaded. He could feel his heart quickening, tension in every muscle in his body as he waited. “ _Iris._ ” He whispered encouragingly when she didn’t say anything. Open-mouthed, lost of words, Barry shook his head helplessly. Even without using his powers, every second seemed like a lifetime.

Finally, Iris looked away from him. She cleared throat her throat as she shifted her weight. Wetting her lips, she dipped her head down. “For a while, I’ve…been thinking about…about us,” she said, briefly meeting his eyes. “Together.”

“You meant it.” He awed as he stared at her.

“Yes,” she exhaled. Clearing her throat again, she brought her left hand to her temple and hair, partly blocking him as she avoided his eyes. “I mean, maybe, I don’t really remember everything I said anyway, which I’m sure is just as well because – ”

In two strides, Barry finally – finally – had her back in his arms. Setting a steadying hand at her waist, he used his other to cup her jaw, tilting her up so he could kiss her.

It was different than their first first kiss. He’d been so caught up in the moment that first first, a total dream of being able to kiss her. He’d had no idea it was about to happen. It was delicate and reverenced. This first – this second first – he was worked up over hours and hours, trying to make it real.

And this time, it was just them, alone in her apartment. Wells was the only thing that needed attention and it wasn’t immediate. They didn’t have to rush this time. It didn’t have to just be a fleeting moment this time.

“You meant it.” He repeated against her lips. God, she’d meant it. All of it?

“I meant it.” She whispered with emotion.

“Iris.” he breathed, his body relaxing as relief filled him.

He kissed her again. Exploring her mouth more as he shifted their angle, teasing her tongue against his.

Separating for breath, he pressed his forehead against hers, using the moment to take her in. “Iris.” He repeated happily, excitement now tingling through him. “I never got over you. Not for a second.” He rushed to say between kisses, in contrast to his earlier struggle, suddenly he had so many words of adoration easily on the tip of his lips that he wanted to say to her, tell her.

He remembered telling her he’d never stopped thinking about her.

“Are you sure?” she asked.

“You’re everything to me,” he promised, staring down into her eyes as he brushed fingers through her hair. He let his hand drift down to her cheek and jawline – because he could now – fully taking her in. “Have you really wondered about my suit?”

“Oh my god.” Dipping her head, she turned into his hand, hiding herself. Barry could feel the heat of embarrassment in her cheek.

“And uh, how much I can vibrate?” he couldn’t resist asking with a grin.

“Barry!” she scolded before giving a groan.

Like last night, Barry lifted his other hand, cupping both of her cheeks so he could direct her to look at him. “I haven’t really been able to stop thinking about it,” he whispered. “About you,” he continued, moving his thumb down to her bottom lip. Iris slowly flicked her tongue over her lip, and the pad of his thumb. Fuck. “All my thoughts are about you.” He said, his low tone signalling exactly what kind of thoughts.

“I know the feeling.” She whispered, blown pupils staring up at him.

Was this real?

“God, _Iris_.” he moaned.

She surged up to kiss him this time and Barry accepted every second of this further first. Her kissing him. Iris West was kissing him. There were so many firsts Barry wanted to live out with her and now he may actually get to.

As he slid his hand into her hair, Iris braced her hands on his waist, tightening before she drifted up to just above his elbows, using the balance to push up to meet his lips as their kisses intensified.

Barry let out another moan when she gently bit his bottom lip. Then her hands lowered again, skimming her way down his torso before lifting the hem of his shirt and finding the button of his jeans. Unlike last night, he didn’t stop her. This was real, he thought, shoving his tongue in her mouth. This was real, and she was actually choosing this in total sound mind, he relished as she whimpered and yanked at jeans.

Oh god, Iris West was trying to take off his pants. Oh god. Oh shit. Oh fuck.

“Ow.” She suddenly hissed against his mouth, breaking their kiss as she fell back to the flats of her feet. Her right hand came up to her injured shoulder.

“Are you okay?” he asked, checking over her as he tried to blink away his lust.

“I’m fine,” she dismissed breathlessly as she batted his hand away before putting both of hers back on the button of his pants. Slightly bewildered, Barry stared down and watched as she used her right hand to unzip the fly of his jeans. The button was harder, she flinched again, pulling her left shoulder back as she tried to get the button with just her right hand. Her eyebrows furrowed in concentration, in frustration, Barry thought, as she got the button half through but then got stuck. “Uh, maybe if you just…help me.” She suggested, pretty much scowling down at his crotch as she tugged at the button.

“Or we could wait. You know, until you’re better.” Barry offered awkwardly.

Her hands paused on his jeans and Barry’s body didn’t know how to respond. Iris West had all her attention on his crotch for god sake, and he’d had her in his arms – his dick was absolutely responding. But she was in pain, and the want and passion in her voice had been replaced with distraction and frustration; her wide pupils were now narrowed in annoyance. After a moment, she sighed, dropping her hands and stepping away from him as she deflated. “You’re right. This isn’t sexy.”

“What?” he questioned with a shake of his head. “Iris.” He urged as she turned away, running fingers through her hair.

Dropping her hand against her thigh, she finally met his eyes again. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” he frowned at her, feeling as confused as he had when he walked in.

“For not…” she trailed off before she wet her lips – even in this new tension, it still stole Barry’s attention. Her lips were slightly swollen – from kissing him. Folding her arms, she stood nervously in front of him. “You’ve waited a long time for this and I’m hardly able to live up to it.”

Barry couldn’t help the small laugh of disbelief from his mouth. “Iris, I am literally counting off the fantasies I’m living out right now. I have been since last night.”

“Barry.” She rolled her eyes at him.

“I’m serious,” he said but she didn’t buy it, turning her eyeline down. Barry thought about the amount of times he’d complimented her in some way, and she’d reacted the same way she did now, with a dismissive roll of the eyes like she didn’t believe him and just thought he was simply being nice. Even now. “You really have no idea how I feel about you.” He wondered aloud.

She seemed to feel guilty about that, turning her head down even more. “I mean, I know you…did, but…”

“But what?” he prompted.

She gave a shrug, her arms still folded. “Well you were with someone else.”

“You think I got over you?” Barry questioned. He was still hard! And she hadn’t even really touched him!

“Not totally, I guess, because we’re…here,” she gestured at him. “But…yeah, in some way,” she shrugged again before meeting his eyes once more. “You fell in love with someone else, Barry,” Her tone was soft, understanding, but Barry felt like it was an accusation. “And I’m not blaming you for that!” she added, seemingly reading his mind. “It’s… I mean, I understand.”

_“You got over me,”_  
_“Moved on,”_

Barry stared at her. This wasn’t how he’d thought this was going to go. It wasn’t what he wanted to talk about either, not now, but if Iris really didn’t know, if she really didn’t understand – he needed to make her understand. And maybe he could say what he’d wanted to the night before, when he wanted to address her every insecurity. Now he could. He re-zipped and buttoned himself, nudging his fast-dwindling erection. As much as he’d liked the idea of Iris being jealous, this was different.

Exhaling, he took a seat on the edge of her small sofa. “I wasn’t in love with Patty.”

“Barry.” She sighed, tilting her head at him with patience. He’d seen that look before, and so many times he’d just let it go, finding it too hard to tell her to truth.

Leaning over, he untangled her folded arms by taking hold of her right hand, tugging her closer until she was almost between his legs, their heights more equal as he sat back down on the arm of the sofa. “No, listen to me,” he urged as he kept a hold of her hand. “I think…yeah, I did feel love for Patty, but…” Taking the moment, Barry traced over her face, finding strength in her, in the possibility of them – a real possibility. “Iris, there isn’t room in my heart, in my head, for anybody else – there never has been. It’s you,” he smiled. “And everyone knows that, everyone’s always known that!” he laughed before listing everyone off with his free hand. “Joe, my dad, Cisco and Caitlin, Professor Stein! Even Oliver and Felicity. But me – I’ve always known how much I loved you,” he continued, moving his hand to his chest as he gestured to himself. “I haven’t been around as much lately because I couldn’t even pretend to be happy with someone else when I saw you and remembered that you weren’t mine,” he finished quieter, his eyeline drifting down to her free hand. Unable to resist, he reached out to catch her fingers with his, careful about pulling on her injured side; she made up the difference for them, stepping the last bit forward so she was fully between his legs. Smiling at the action, he continued. “You…do things to me that no one else ever has, or will,” he said softly as he looked back to her eyes. He frowned at the way she was looking at him. “What?” he asked.

“I really want to rip your shirt off.” she said, her eyes scanning over him in a way that god, he could get used to.

His eyebrows rose. “You do?”

Licking her lips, she then shyly tucked some hair behind her ear. Somehow, such a small thing did a lot to him. He could feel himself hardening again. “You can’t just say things like that, Barry.” She whispered.

“I can’t?” he managed to say, rather awe-struck by her.

Her eyes flicked up to his again and a smile lit her face. “Not without me wanting to jump you.” She beamed with a shake of her head. She bumped her hip against his inner thigh and Barry took the opportunity to wrap his arm around her waist and keep her close, happily allowing her to feel the effect she was having on him.

Over her? The one impossibility that even he couldn’t make possible – or want to.

“I’m okay with that!” he said excitedly. “Great, with that reaction!” he added, watching the way she bit down on her lip as she grinned. “Maybe I could… You could still…” he rambled, feeling his heartbeat pick up again. “I could make you…”

“Come?” she finished for him with raised eyebrows, looking at him expectantly, all confident. _Iris._ He really hoped she’d let him help her finish too.

“If – if you want! If… I mean, if you’re still wondering about…vibrating.” He made himself say as he squeezed her fingers, thinking how those words had gotten to her earlier.

He seemed successful, as she appeared a little shocked by him outright saying it. “If that’s something you want.” She gave a single-shoulder shrug but Barry couldn’t look away from her eyes, bright and dark all at once.

“I… I mean, yeah, that is…” he said breathlessly as he stared. “Yeah?” he checked as she smirked at him.

“Yeah.” she nodded as she let out a giggle, beaming at him. It was a sound Barry was sure made him fall in love with her all over again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, thank you for reading and of course, I hope you liked it.
> 
> Second, I'm sorry! I am planning on doing a continuing sequel for this at some point, but I really didn't want to change the rating for this one. I hope it was still enjoyable!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> I had fun writing this. I may add a second chapter, the aftermath.


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